30 things to remember when you turn 30 (that no one told you)- Exclusively for women -[Part 1]

Turning 30 is not a joke. You enter a phase where things turn differently, pivoting to something you never expected or imagined. So read on to find out what are the 30 things that you must know after turning 30. Some of them you might have heard of but I’m damn sure that you’ll find something very hurtful yet useful in this blog

This blog was originally published on 30 things to remember when you turn 30 (that no one told you)- Exclusively for women -[Part 1] — Devanshi Singh (itsbydevanshi.com).

Is 30 really that serious?

Hell yeah!

I’m not saying you have to take it too seriously, but you can’t be chill about it.

Why should you go ahead and read it?

Because it is not an article written by a teenager or newly turned adult who fancy blogging for money. It’s written by someone who has been there and doesn’t want YOU to go there, uninformed. 💀

Before continuing let me just inform you that this is not a feel-good article, there won’t be any sugarcoating. These are things that either I’ve experienced or observed in other women’s lives.

So, read it like you know nothing, open your mind, and welcome the reality, then it might be easy for you to grasp.😈

No one guided me earlier, so I’m doing this for you.

No more pep talk let’s begin!

Number 1 — If you haven’t started acting like an adult, it’s time.

Our 20s seem like figuring out shit, living the life, going with the flow, and enjoying every day is your last. Well…the phase of the 20s doesn’t last. It fades away like a blip. And when you hit 30, you are in between the feeling of a teenager, a young adult, and an actual adult.

When in your 20s you are not expected of much greatness.

She is young. She has a long life in front of her. Oh, she is just learning.

At 30s it’s not like that.

You are expected to act like a real adult. And it’s not only good for the people around you but it is so powerful for you too.

(And if you are married this expectation bar is even higher. I am not saying that you owe it to the people to behave like a responsible adult, but you owe it to your life. Believe me, I have been having a hard time adjusting to 30’s rules but when I actually accept it, practice it, and win it; it is such a powerful feeling that can be explained only when you are there.

So, c’mon join me to act like an adult even when the teenager in your is still alive. Feed her from time to time, but find a balance somehow)

Number 2- Adulting is not easy.

If you are anything like me, I always imagine that being an adult must suck.

And it’s true.

I don’t usually like people quickly. I don’t hate them but giving them genuine respect is hard for me. In your 20s, you usually don’t have strong opinions or a system that collates all your values, principles, ethics, or morals.

But by the time you cross that 30, you have that system. Your life experiences enable you to find that system and now you see people differently and precisely who they are.

And my friend, believe me, knowing people who they really are, is no fun.

It is interesting as long as they don’t stay in your life for over an hour. But you also realize that the people, friends, colleagues, or relatives you have known, are not exactly what you thought they were.

But you are an adult, so you have to act smart. You can’t tell people to bugger off or unfriend them from your life.

You need to find a system to keep YOUR system seamless and your social life intact.

Number 3 — Drop the entitled act. No one owes you anything.

‘I feel bad, he can’t do that to me.’

‘She is my friend; how can she not pick up my call.”

‘Why mom can’t come to my place so that I don’t have to leave my work.’

Well, there will be many more entitlements which you enjoyed in your 20s.

But not anymore. In your 30s you are expected to brush off this attitude and move your ass to take up some responsibilities on your own.

You can’t sit over how people treated you and how they shouldn’t.

You need to find an understanding and learn that everyone has a shit to deal and right now you are not the priority, and that’s OKAY.

Number 4- Staying strong is not an option anymore. It’s a must.

I’m not saying don’t cry. Don’t be sad.

I’m saying, have your moment of weakness, but later on, muster the courage and move on!

You might have babies, or a partner, or a job, or aging parents, or all of them. And the longer you travel the path of weakness, the tougher it will get.

In your 30s, you will find new friends in your brain and body some of them are known as the feeling of overwhelm, anxiety, stress, anger, irritability, annoyance, and many more. Know them, understand them, and once again find a system to deal with them.

Being strong is in your character. You just have to find the map of it asap.

Number 5 — Figure out a way to say NO. (Without guilt). You’ll thank me later.

That is un-ignorable.

Being a woman, you might have built a habit of saying yes to a lot of things.

Eating foods that everyone likes, taking up responsibilities that you never wanted, buying a dress you never liked, keeping aside your lists because your partner wanted something else, meeting relatives you can’t talk to…and many more.

But the 30 years of life has already gone. You don’t have the luxury nor the time or the energy to entertain what’s not important to you and offers no value to your life’s goal.

So, start saying No, with a smile and be polite.

It won’t bite. Trust me.

You might feel guilty in the beginning, but it will get easier with time. The more you choose to say No, the happier you will be.

Try to say no to one non-valuable thing/act today. And tell me in the comment how it felt.

Number 6 — Can’t afford the stupidity. (Not yours. not anyone else’s.)

Yes, people are stupid.

Don’t worry you will learn it!😉

And you will be tempted to do something stupid too. Like…whatever… will see what happens or just for the sake of fun or I do too much I deserve a little bit of stupidity

Guess what, you can’t be stupid like you were in your 20s.

Why?

Because you owe this to yourself. Your future self, your younger self. You need to take care of yourself from yourself and the stupidity around you.

You are not getting any younger, babe. And no one is coming to save you. You are your Saviour.

Number 7 — Life is unplanned. (No matter how many Excels or reminders you maintain.)

God, I learned it in an extremely hard way!

No matter what I planned, how I saw myself in 5 years.

Only 20% gets true. And 80% happened totally unexpected. (Ping me on Insta and I’ll tell you. Find me @itsbydevanshi)

So, no matter how well-structured your plan is, about your career, family, or health…life will always come your way.

You might get sick, your loved ones might get sick, you might lose your job, or you might never find the time to think about it. Life will happen, no matter how a control freak is you.

So, hear it. Repeat it. Chew this thought and stick it to your heart. This is the harshest truth you will ever experience.

Number 8 — Siblings will grow apart too. (And that’s okay.)

When I was young, I used to imagine myself, my brother, and my sister living in a better home that had all kinds of things that we couldn’t get in our childhood.

I saw my parents’ siblings and used to think that I’d never let that happen to us.

But it is happening.

Yeah, right now we are not that distant, but we have our own lives.

I often imagine going back to that part of my life, but I know that’s not reality. Your sister or brother will have to grow, and build a life and so, do you.

That’s just life.

Number 9 — You might end up with one friend or no friend at all. (And that’s okay too.)

Having a female friend in your life is good. But if you have strong opinions and ambitions, you might end up alone.

Not alone like no one will be at your funeral.💀😉 (Geez, Devanshi, you are so harsh. I know. You will abhor living inside my mind)

Alone in such a way that your pain will be your own, your suffering will be your own, and you will have to deal with them on your own.

And that’s okay, babe!

Remember when I said that you will learn about people, and yourself? It’s not that people will always leave you, sometimes you will leave them too.

Because you will need less drama and more productivity in your life.

And wanting that is totally okay!

You are growing up, and your priorities are changing. You have life to take care of not just yours.

(But just to give you some advice, try to be authentic to one person in your life who is not your family or husband. Having a friend is having a free therapist. Fight with them, have a cold time but try your best to hold them as much as possible. And again, you can’t control everything in your life but if you can a 1% of it, do it.)

Number 10 — Parents are not gonna be there forever. (Figuratively and literally. I’m sorry!)

I love my parents to the moon and back.

And, it aches me to write about it, so I’m not gonna.

Just remember this fact and cherish the time you have with your parents as much as you can.

That’s it. This is part 1 of my 30 things you need to remember after you turn 30. I have listed down all the 30 things but putting it out there in one go can be overwhelming to some people, so I decided to launch the truth bombs in three parts. 😉

(You’re welcome!🫂🤗)

It has been sucking to be in my 30s, but hopefully, if I keep my eyes open, ears alert and my brain sane, I am gonna see you all on the other side of it with a better, improved, and saner version of Devanshi.

So, stay tuned for the next parts of the blog, they are even more hurtful than these. And yes, don’t forget to share the harsh truth that you’ve learned or are learning in your 30s.

Yours truly

Devanshi✍️

This blog was originally published on 30 things to remember when you turn 30 (that no one told you)- Exclusively for women -[Part 1] — Devanshi Singh (itsbydevanshi.com).