The Darkside of Dear Diary Moment
I am not trying to demotivate anyone, not trying to make anyone see the pain, don’t want to bore anyone, not trying to make anyone suffer.
Read many books, talked to many people, and referred to many blogs but still stuck on the same timeline of my mind.
You know you have to get out of here. This spiral of continuous sadness and past trauma won’t take you anywhere. You know you are losing the present time, you think you might be missing out so much but…
It’s like you feel this is your world. It’s like you want to feel this hurt. This pain.
There are days easier than others. You feel happy, okay, normal like everyone else. You communicate, make people laugh, laugh with them, and things go normal.
And then one incident, one time, one moment reminds you of all the fears, tears, the most tragic moments. You want to just give up, you don’t want to hold up anymore.
Sometimes you want to get hurt even more so that you suppress this fucking pain in your heart. You just want to get out of it anyhow.
Then you seek one person that can get you. Even for a moment.
You seek love, understanding, and a time not to feel alone.
Then you find the one…
For a moment things get sorted, easy, less painful, you smile, you feel FINE.
And the days pass…and one day come and you realize…the person was the moment only.
And you again enter the Dark Side.