Why do I exist? The one question that everyone faces once in their lifetime.
Last night when I was going to sleep, the question of ‘Why do I exist’ popped up in my mind. What did I realize? Continue reading to find out. It might help you too.
Did you ever think that?
Why do you exist?
I pondered again and again over this thought. And I came up with different answers every time.
Because my family loves me.
Because my friends love me.
Because my family needs me.
Because I want to be there for my mother.
Because I can’t leave them to suffer the pain of loss.
But do they actually NEED me?
Does the world actually need me?
What value am I adding to this world?
When I asked my best friend, she said…people are not property. They don’t have to add value to other people’s lives. They offer a lot. Maybe not in tangible form but they do.
I do agree with her. But, it didn’t resolve my anxiety around this question.
I’m inclined to feel that love is not enough for your existence.
If I reverse the question of why do other people exist in my life and how their absence will affect me. Then I come to realize that…
It will damage me.
I’m not in a position to handle any more losses in my life.
When I see my aging parents it sucks. I don’t want to see that or feel that. I guess nobody ever wants to feel that.
I need people in my life for my sanity. I need people so that I can exist.
But why should I exist?
I thought about one month’s impact on the people who love me after my demise or disappearance.
I realized they will feel pain, but someone else would be there to take care of them and help them move on with their lives. They should and they will.
Sure, they will keep on missing me, but life won’t stop.
As my life didn’t stop, as my friends’ lives didn’t stop when they lost their loved ones.
Suffering stays, and we eventually learn to live with that. Either by embracing it or by exploiting it.
But LIFE GOES ON!
So, back to the question. Why do I exist?
I thought about the company where I work.
I’m a Senior Executive Copy Writer. My team will feel bad, and for a while, they will struggle with content and copy; until they find a new Copy Writer.
And it’ll be the same again for them.
So, again back to the question. Why do I exist?
By the time I started feeling sleepy, I realized I can help a person or two.
My suffering can be a lesson for them.
I won’t say I’ve suffered a lot.
There is a lot of pain in the world.
But I did suffer plenty.
My sufferings, my experiences, and my capabilities to connect to people can help someone.
I know something that some people don’t know or haven’t experienced yet.
So, I can help them.
When I lost someone I loved, I decided to build a home for women who have suffered due to society. A place where abandoned kids and women will live together and create a life.
But, the dream got lost with the responsibilities I got on my path.
And, I end up with this question of my existence.
I came to know.
You are doing the humble thing to take care of your family, friends, or loved ones.
But, if you ever find yourself spiraling in the doubt of your existence. It’s a sign from your soul to do something bigger than yourself.
Waking up, exercising, cooking, feeding, earning for your family, partying, watching TV, and sleeping…for some people, it’s enough.
Even for me, it was.
But to add meaning to who you are and why you are here.
You need more to do.
I need more to do.
So, next time when you feel doubt about yourself and want to end up your life, remember,
You have so much to offer to this world.
It may not be your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, wife/ husband, brother/sister, mother/father, son/daughter, friend, or relatives.. but
Someone else is out there looking for help.
And you can be that help. You can be a ray of hope for him/her.
What do you think? Share your thought in the comment section.